Morning Psalms 47; 147:12-20

First Reading Exodus 13:3-10

Second Reading 1 Corinthians 15:41-50

Gospel Reading Matthew 28:16-20

Evening Psalms 68; 113

 

16Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. 17When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

This story is the end of the Gospel of Matthew. The disciples have made it all the way to the mountain where he will leave them. Yet, even those who made it to the end—past the cross, past the empty tomb—doubt. Why is that? Why, when we have been at this for so long, do we still hold onto our misapprehensions? What do the disciples, of all people, doubt? If we had been there, if we had seen what they had seen, maybe it would have been different.

 

It’s said that it’s much easier to doubt than believe. Who can believe all of the things the Bible tells us—all the stories and the miracles? The repetition makes each one both less remarkable and more unbelievable. It’s hard to believe things like water into wine, healings, and exorcisms (and all the things we would have to believe about the world if we held onto these). We can either ignore these parts of scripture or rationalize our discomfort away; or, if the tension becomes too hard to bear, we can give up altogether. Most of the time it feels easier to doubt than believe.

 

That the disciples have seen all that they have and still harbor doubts show that doubting is less about the work of God and more about ourselves. Why wouldn’t we doubt when believing means that we have a job to do—“Go. . .” Because that’s the real hard part of faith. We can doubt because it lets us off the hook from “obey

[ing] everything that I have commanded you.” G.K. Chesterton once said something along the lines of, “Christianity hasn’t been tried and found wanting. It has been found wanting and been left untried.” Maybe if we tried, really tried, the rest wouldn’t seem so important. We might begin to doubt our doubts instead.

 

Gracious God, we do not always know the way, and so we ask for your Spirit to open it to us. Let the way to you appear, confounding our disbelief, as we receive the life Jesus intends for us. We pray in his name. Amen.